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I've been meaning to write about this for a week or so- But life keeps getting in the way. May 5th according to Facebook [the Farmer's Almanac of social knowledge and pop culture spam] was Wear Purple Day; To show support for victims [aka survivors] of sexual assault. A showing of courage; a proclamation that these acts of sexual violence should not be allowed to happen.

A cause near and dear to my heart [ie pathos], I wore purple pajamas in the solitude of my basement as it was my day off. If I had been at work, I would have worn something considerably more formal but alas, why go to Hell when you have a pass to stay on earth? But word of mouth told me some of my co-workers took up the torch and wore it in my stead.

But here's my question [as cynical as it may seem]: What good is wearing a shirt/pants/socks? How does it prevent sexual assaults from occurring? Of course it's a showing of support for past victims and sends a message that THIS IS NOT OKAY but will it stop it? No. Is it a deterrent? Not really. Perhaps if a mob of vigilantes in purple showed up at every bar, frat party and lined the streets in sentry formation it could be... But that's not the case. An ordinary garment doesn't have the power when worn by a scattered few. Unfortunately it cannot be transformed into Superman's cape or HP's cloak of invisibility.

What needs to be changed are people's mindsets. There needs to be more education and less fear mongering. Fear comes largely from the unknown. Is it not easier to tremble at the thought of a masked assailant than the many who lives next store? [Fact is most sexual assaults are carried out by someone you KNOW.] Sometimes your enemy is closer. And I'm not encouraging wide spread panic or becoming a hermit. Advocating either of those is [again] not a solution. The public needs to be less tolerance of purpatory behavior; less shaming of victims.

Today I logged onto Facebook and a friend of mine had 'liked' a bunch of things. Weasley tends to have a sense of humor akin to my own. I let myself have a chuckle at her selection and browsed the 'if you like [such] you'll probably like [and such].' Really I find the whole process rather obnoxious and taxing but I allowed myself a brief indulgence. One made me stop:

I WAS HAVING SEX WITH MY GF THE OTHER NIGHT

AND SHE KEPT CALLING OUT ANOTHER GUY'S NAME.

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHO RAPE IS?

This is just one of the many tasteless jokes that float around in our public repertoire. Everyone's heard the old standards: It's not rape if you yell surprise or the plethora of tee hees that require dropping soap in a shower. These, like Holocaust or dead baby jokes, are uncouth but they still are brought up from time to time.
I'm asking that we stop with allowing these; using them to fill silences. Cause nothing kills a rape survivor's buzz like someone teasing her that her drink's been roofied. Unless, that is, you like alcohol fueled anxiety attacks possibly followed by Linda Blair inspired vomiting. Trust me, it's an excellent way to amp up a soiree. Also, some more etiquette: Rape-able is not a compliment. ie 'You look rape-able in that dress.' Although girls COULD say this, I've only heard it parlayed by a bloke. My response of choice? 'Thank you. Your ass looks great in those jeans. Really, I'd like to bend you over like a 300 lb inmate named Bubba.' Needless to say, the mutual admiration ended at that point.

Talk [or in this case blogging] is cheap. And although I wish I could simply solve this problem by being the change I want to see in the world, I'm once voice. There are plenty of note worthy organizations who are trying to accomplish the goal of education through advocacy. I've recently been following the SlutWalk organization. The first was held this year in Toronto and was a protest against a faux pas uttered by one of TO's finest. It's spread globally. Although the effectiveness of these protest have been questioned, challenged, bawked at, mocked even, their voices are being heard. And their marching cry? This is not okay! Dressing provocatively does not encourage rape! This crime is about power, not sexuality. It is about taking away the right to feel safe; the right to not be attacked. Boobs are not bulls eyes; having them should not make you a target. An orifice does not equal yes. Please, take the time to check out their website, read some of their literature and check to see if there's a rally near you. Silent Hill, there's one in Hamilton June 5, I hope to see you there.

Signing off righteously indignant, The Call Girl xx