Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Nothing Sacred [A Cautionary Tale]

Today I was going to write about identity. About striving to achieve one and a few other little theories... But I think I've settled on something else. A little piece of my day. They say where there's smoke, there's fire. And where there's fire, you might just get burned. Although with the greatest intentions did this all come about, it was my ass in the proverbial frying pan.

Sitting at my desk, I have a fairly optimal point of view. I'm close to the door, people have to pass me to get to most of the other points in the room, one supervisor sits within metres of me. My manager is also within a stone's throw. Normally this all adds up to an opportune access for hearing and seeing the daily ins and outs of of the call centre floor. After all, despite my customers thinking that the universe revolves around them, it doesn't. It revolves around gossip and water cooler chat.



Today, my overattentive listening got me in trouble. I heard my name, heard the situation and my stomach sunk. Like a scolded child, I knew I'd be called into the office. My supervisor told me to go into AUX 3 to see the Great and Powerful Oz...Ozette? I've never been good at hiding emotion. I'm an open book. My heart began to race and suddenly my body flooded with anxious waters- Eyes watering; palms sweating.

My mistake is trying to play it cool. I don't have a P-P-P-Pokerface. [Which is exactly why I don't play cards.] So I slide into a chair, and I wait. Here it comes. Then comes the inevitable. The Great Ozette's proclamation. She says she's heard rumors, the grumblings of proletariat. Me. That I am not happy with my lot in the ant hill. And I'm not but I shan't speak that thought.

Instead I say the opposite. No I'm not upset. Yes everything is fine. Yes I spoke to one of the people about my feelings... Two if you count the Flynnja. No, I agree it's all fair. -grovel, grovel- Because I'm not good with awkward tension [and the awkward butterflies in my stomach have metamorphosed into dragons] I change the subject from my disappointment in Oz's and my comrade to comrade relationship to a dream I had where a fellow rep who's getting married had a bachelorette party with all the women from work. Although most of the men in my project aren't exactly Prince Charmings but Sonic is at the low end of that spectrum. And he made an appearance as a stripper. And not just ANY stripper. He came out of a giant cake. Needless to say, it broke the ice.

Of course Oz, being all knowing, was right. I had been talking to people in the office. I had been voicing my opinion. I voiced it to several people but I guess I made the assumption that what I said was just between us. After all we the Munchkins need to stick together....right? Lollypop Guild for Life. They all did it under the guise of being supportive- And all though I don't doubt [most of] their intentions, it proves that not even the privilege of running one's mouth can be held sacred at a place like that.

Signing off twice burnt, once shy,
The Call Girl xx

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