So, boys and girls, I did it. I send the email. [The less romantic cousin of the letter.] It was an edited version. I got my anger out Sunday and now I'm left with sadness. The most blanketing and smothering of emotions. Unlike anger which normally fizzles, sadness consumes. It's been a rough few days.
Despite Max's promises in Sunday's sparring match, the only BBMs I've received are prompted by me. One email. That's what I've gotten and it revealed no clues to how to fix out dilemma. I've heard if it's not broke, don't fix it... But what if it's broken and can't be fixed? The email revolved around Piano Man's life, [a boy she claimed annoyed her and she wanted nothing to do with but now apparently has feelings for] and another friend's pre-audition jitters but little of hers. She says [and has stated multiple times] she doesn't have a grasp on emotions. But she hows how they feel; has sympathy for them. I told her maybe it's just me she doesn't get. And maybe that hurts more than anything.
In other non-Max related news, I finally have a chance to floorwalk at work. So last week in April, I'll be watching the newbies and the rest of the fishbowl. I'm excited but scared. Maybe it's just the exhaustion speaking... Or the Strongbow. Yes, I'm drinking. Scooby doo [Birdie reborn] is on a blind date. She had to go out of Silent Hill to meet him and I, being the voice of caution, said I'd come with her. She dropped me off in a parking lot across the street [at my suggestion] and I walked over to Generic Chain Sports Bar.
I was going to order food but alcohol seemed like a much more appealing option. I'm a can and a half in and I forgot how good of a friend alcohol is. Bad thought! Bad! I promise this is my last one. Then again- A promise is just a lie in a making.
Signing off a lil tipsy, the Call Girl xx
April 13th
